NOTE: i don't know what made rurik do this but FOR SOME REASON he decided to write REDONKULOUSLY BAD LESBIAN PORN. it has made everyone who's read it laugh til tears come out of their eyes. I RECCOMEND IT HIGHLY.

The lanky yellow Hekshanian was standing on a table, well liquored up, shaking his asstail at the orange monster next to him. Chovek took a playful slap at his spindly rump, and grinning like a jackass, Kyo hurled himslef upon the manbeast. They rolled around the ground, skavating grahzny slovos at eachother.

Everytime he drinks he just has to make a DICK of himself.

“Come on, Lypha. Get the sand out of your vagina.”

Soshika looked up to see Solla standing next to her, a couple of beers in tow.

“Whut.” Soshika stared judgementally at Solla.

“Come on. Your just sitting here staring at your brother with this look on your face.” Solla threw out her best impression of a constipated gorilla. "Come ons, ho. Live a little." Solla nudged one of the bottles into Soshi's head.

"Sod off. I'm not degrading myself to that." Soshi nodded at Kyo and Chovek, now joined by Jet, all dancing in a faggoty merry circle of glee.

"Then don't drink too much. But come one. We're shipping out tommorrow, and I will be damned if I'm sitting on that ship with your mopey ass for that long."

Soshi continued to glare sullenly at the homosexual parade dancing wackadoos in front of her.

"Don't make me get the love bug all up on you," Solla crooned in Soshi's ear.

"If the Llama touches me I will break him."

"Then drink," Solla said, jamming the bottle in Soshi's face. Soshi snatched it from her birdclawtalonhandwtfever and forced a bit down.

"Now was that so hard?"

Soshika grunted in response. It kind of sounded like ungf. But you didn't really need to be told that. Too much information?

“Oh my god.” Soshi yanked her brother off of the Hekshanian sitting next to her.

“I am so sorry about him. He's a drunk. Sorry.” The Hekshanian next to her laughed.

“It's no big deal. He's done worse,” she said, removing the singles from her bosom.

“You know Kyo?”

“HA. KNOW him?” The white haired alien grinned and took a drink of the bottle in front of her.

“Lypha. Come on. Let's go.”

“When I was five, this one time, he took his wagon up on the roof. He had this red wagon. He loved that wagon. Like they were BROTHERS or something. And so he took in up on the roof. The roof. I don't know how he got up there. But he was on the roof with this wagon. And He drove it off of the roof. And So he's lying there on the ground, in a pile of mangled metal. And his foot is broken. And mom comes out and he looks up at her all tery eyed and says 'I hurt my wagon. ;.;'”

“Lypha. Come on. It's Thirteen O'clock. Let's go.”

“We had been going out for about a month now. And he wanted to all lovey dovey romantic faggot. So He decides to build me a deck. So he gets out there in front of my house with all this wood and nails. And vodka. And he drinks a lot of it before he even picks up a hammer. And he's drunk now. And I get home and find that he has nailed his hand to my door.”

“Craika. Was he okay?”

“He had a nail in his hand. He was a part of my door. He was just looking at me like a scared puppy and I went in and called the hospital. I don't think he can move his left pinky very far back any more.”

“Lypha. Come. On. It is thirteen o'clock that isn't even really a real time let's get out of here I'm sick of this bar it smells like sand and bad people LET'S GO.”

“Come on, Solla. Lighten up.” Soshi thrust a beer into Solla's hamfists. She just grinned like a cactus as Solla's face screwed up into itself.

“Fuck this. I'm out of here. If you and your new girlfriend here make it, I'll see you tommorrow.” And Solla left the bar, drunks and vagrants hooting and hollering after her bird-ass. She punched one of them in the face probably.

“We should probably leave.”

“What makes you say thath?”

“The bartender has been yelling at us for ten minutes.”

“Sho why don't we leave?”

“I don't know. You keep forgetting to get up.”

“I want another beer.”

“We really need to leave. The bartender is getting a broom.”

“I ain't scared of no fucking broom.”

“This broom has a knife on the end.”

“Hey Zara. Let's go outside. :D Really fast.”

“So what time is it?”

“Three fourty five.”

“Shit. I think the last time I was out this late. ...I don't go out this late.”

“I never would have guessed.”

“So where'd Solla go?”

“Solla?”

“My friend. With the wings.” Soshi waved her arms around.

“She left hours ago.”

“No. I mean w h e r e did she go. I need to know.”

“How would I know?”

“....Craika. Fucking craiking son of a bitch.” Soshi started to pace around, an aura of dramarama building around her.

“Fuck. Fuck. What in the fuck am I going to do.”

“It's not that bad... you could stay with Kyo.”

“I will sleep in the open road first.”

“You could stay with me.”

“What?”

“You could stay at my place. I've got room.”

“.... for serious.”

“Of course.”

“Why?”

“You're an old flame's sister, and we drank together. Kind of like friends.” Tears welled up in Soshi's eyes and her lips began to quiver. She threw herself into Zara's waiting arms and they began to kiss deeply, as shoujo sparkles began to rain down from the heavens.

“Thank you so much. I mean.... thanks. For reallies.”

“It's no big deal. Come on, let's skedaddle before you collapse.”

Soshika looked around. Zara's apartment was nice. It wasn't overly large, but it was plenty big enough. Very clean. There was a box of hot pockets in the trash can. Ham and cheese.

“Bedroom is in the back. Sexond Second door on the left.”

“I couldn't take your bed.”

“Just take it. It ain't no thang.”

“You're just being so nice to me.”

“Just scoot of in there. When are you leaving tommorrow?”

“Eight. Or nine. Seven?”

“I'll wake you up early just in case.”

“Thanks. :x” Soshi walked into the back of the house and entered a room. Closet. She tried another. Bathroom. She emptied herself of excess fluids and tried another door. Another closet. Another door. Bedroom. Another Door. Closet no wait the bedroom was back there. Soshi fell into the bed and curled up like a cat, which makes sense since she is a furry and everything lol.

Zara stood in front of the open refrigidaire, chugging a bottle of water. Zara didn't like to be hungover. Not that she couldn't take it or anything. She had the cojones. But it was still hardly any kind of way that she wanted to wake up. As she tossed the empty bottle into a the trash, where it nestled romantically next to the empty box of hot pockets, which smelled like ham and cheese, it occurred to her that perhaps she should bring Soshi some water. Seems like a considerate hostess-like thing to do. So she entered her bedroom, without any unnecessary closet sidetrips, only to find the bed empty. She stepped in and looked around, trying to find Soshika. Suddenly the door slammed shut and Soshi threw Zara onto the bed and passionately thrust her toungue into the unsuspecting Hekshanian's mouth. They kissed for a long two minutes, and finally broke, Soshi smiling drunkenly.

“I think I figured out how to thank you.” Soshi's words spilled out over her lips.

“Are you always such a dork?”

“Are you always so EROTIC?” And then Soshi ripped off Zara's shirt. She was ready for hardcore, delicious not-safe-for-work passion.She clumsily unhooked her bra as Zara too began to undress her, with notably more efficiency. She gazed down upon the blue field of fur below her and honked them titties. HONK HONK like at an intersection. But instead of a stop sign, there was intercourse of the lesbian variety. They rolled around on the bed, being passionate as I'm sure hardcore lesbos are when they are in the middle of flavor country. They had so much sex that a horny mathematician could right a formula about them. If one of them was of the havng-a-dick-gender then the other would surely have gotten pregnant. But the the one with the dick, because mpreg wtf.

Soshika lazily opened her eyes. She glanced over to her left, and smiled at the angel lying next to her. She was gorgeous when she was asleep. Soshi noticed the clock on the nightstande across from the bed. Ten twenty. Hmm. Wonderful. She slid over and cuddled up to Zara. A subtle smile slid onto Zara's lips. And then Soshi lept out of bed screaming.

“SHIT CRAIKA FUCK GOD FUCK DAMN FUCK THE TIIIIIIME IT'S TEN FUCK I AM LATE.”

Zara jolted up and looked at Soshi, alarmed. Soshi was dancing around throwing on her clothes from the previous night. She was just wearing panties with pants halfway up her legs when she flat out fell and rolled onto the floor. Zara sighed and helped her up, pulling up her pants.

“Er. Thanks.”

“It isn't a problem.”

“Um. Look I've really got to go.”

“I know.”

“I- last night- that. What I mean is.”

“I understand.” And Zara kissed Soshi, who smiled as there lips met. You're bound to remember, because it was almost nineteen paragraphs long.

“Bout Damn time you got here.” Misuka mumbled.

“I would have been here on time if you hadn't LEFT ME AT A BAR.”

“Well I wouldn't have left you behind if you weren't being such a DOUCHE.”

“Ladies, please! Don't fight! Not when I don't have a camera!” Koji interjected.

“Shut up fuzznigger.”

“Um. Soshi?”

“What Ash.”

“Where is your jacket?” Soshi looked down at herself. She was wearing a long-sleeved, white dress shirt over her sweaty black t-shirt.

“Isn't that the shirt that girl was wearing last night?” Misuka inquired.

“Um. Craika.” Soshi sputtered.