really nice day at work tbh, tho i absolutely felt the weight of not having been there last week because of insurance changeover. but the kiddo i've been working with is doing so, so well. she's really hitting her stride lately!! i'm super hopeful she's going to get a strong start when she changes over to the big school this fall.
i really don't know if i'm going to be continueing working with her, mostly because if we're scheduling into fall and the roads get icy, i can't make it on my own in evenings. i love my scooter, i really feel good driving it and wish i'd started my scooter life journey decades earlier???? but it does handle like Sheit in the ice and snow. every turn becomes kind of really quite scary. part of this is because at least one of the rims is badly bent. but part of it is just, yboy never learned to drive on ice or snow or slush. i'm very new to it still and i dont think anyone wants me crashing on a cold wet road in november on the way back from work. well ok, maybe some folks do. but sucks to them lmfao
ren was very upset that i left at all. the older she gets the less she approves of this whole "leaving her line of sight" thing.
the rock & mineral show is this weekend somehow already?? i always forget until august and then throw around real last minute to see if anyone wants to go and then am like :( no one goed w us.
last few nights the puppybook was overheating badly out of nowhere! except that with linux, since i'm in charge of updates, it wasnt actually out of nowhere. i'd run sudo apt upgrade a few days before which updated all the software that had come prepackaged and which i'd downloaded since starting the project a few months ago. in there somewhere was a cpu update that messed up my scaling settings, cooking the entire machine to... i dunno go faster i presume? i fiddled with the new interface, read some defintions on arch wiki (still the best resource, please publish this in a book) and fixed it. bam, thats how you solve a problem
anxiety been pretty rough today, i think just a side effect of returning to work. its usually like in phases, yknow? like theres the pre-anxiety where im just like reticent to do something, thinking of ways to back out of something etc. thats easy because i know thats just anxiety about doing something new or something i have big emotions about. so then there's a lull, or a season of peace or something, where while i'm doing the thing i was previously anxious about i'm fine because i'm engaged. i don't have time to feel the anxiety because i'm actually doing the thing. why, one might even lie to themselves and suggest i effeciently was trying to get my worries out of the way ahead of time so i could focus solely on my work!
....then the task ends, and i enter a vacuum of task and distraction, and the anxiety surges back like four times as bad and with half the focus and direction. u had a great day at work! time to feel like cowering under the desk!!
i am sooooooo looking forward to getting off tamoxifen and also off venlafaxine bc at least at LEAST sertraline did somethin for my anxiety as Well As shortening depressive episodes in both length and depth.
i should eat. i should scan this drawing of trout. arf arf
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i really don't know if i'm going to be continueing working with her, mostly because if we're scheduling into fall and the roads get icy, i can't make it on my own in evenings. i love my scooter, i really feel good driving it and wish i'd started my scooter life journey decades earlier???? but it does handle like Sheit in the ice and snow. every turn becomes kind of really quite scary. part of this is because at least one of the rims is badly bent. but part of it is just, yboy never learned to drive on ice or snow or slush. i'm very new to it still and i dont think anyone wants me crashing on a cold wet road in november on the way back from work. well ok, maybe some folks do. but sucks to them lmfao
ren was very upset that i left at all. the older she gets the less she approves of this whole "leaving her line of sight" thing.
the rock & mineral show is this weekend somehow already?? i always forget until august and then throw around real last minute to see if anyone wants to go and then am like :( no one goed w us.
last few nights the puppybook was overheating badly out of nowhere! except that with linux, since i'm in charge of updates, it wasnt actually out of nowhere. i'd run sudo apt upgrade a few days before which updated all the software that had come prepackaged and which i'd downloaded since starting the project a few months ago. in there somewhere was a cpu update that messed up my scaling settings, cooking the entire machine to... i dunno go faster i presume? i fiddled with the new interface, read some defintions on arch wiki (still the best resource, please publish this in a book) and fixed it. bam, thats how you solve a problem
anxiety been pretty rough today, i think just a side effect of returning to work. its usually like in phases, yknow? like theres the pre-anxiety where im just like reticent to do something, thinking of ways to back out of something etc. thats easy because i know thats just anxiety about doing something new or something i have big emotions about. so then there's a lull, or a season of peace or something, where while i'm doing the thing i was previously anxious about i'm fine because i'm engaged. i don't have time to feel the anxiety because i'm actually doing the thing. why, one might even lie to themselves and suggest i effeciently was trying to get my worries out of the way ahead of time so i could focus solely on my work!
....then the task ends, and i enter a vacuum of task and distraction, and the anxiety surges back like four times as bad and with half the focus and direction. u had a great day at work! time to feel like cowering under the desk!!
i am sooooooo looking forward to getting off tamoxifen and also off venlafaxine bc at least at LEAST sertraline did somethin for my anxiety as Well As shortening depressive episodes in both length and depth.
i should eat. i should scan this drawing of trout. arf arf
